The Day We Learned About Amber Alerts

So this post is about two years overdue, but I decided that our experience needed to be documented so that someday Emily can read about how exciting her second day of life was.

So the day after Emily was born, Kyle and the girls had come by the hospital to visit us.  The girls were happily doting over their new baby sister and all of her adorable tiny features.  It was almost lunchtime, so Kyle was getting ready to take Katelyn and Brooke to get something to eat and then they planned to come back and pick us up, so we could take Emily home. 

Just as they were getting ready to leave, a large man carefully ducked into our hospital room and introduced himself, while glancing over his shoulder furtively as Steve.  Steve’s name has been changed to protect his identity and because there’s no way I could remember that kind of detail two years after the fact.

This is where things got really weird, very fast.  Since this was baby number three, I knew that for me, my post-partum insanity and irrationality would be kicking in any minute.  Since I was aware of my behavior pattern, I was trying hard to keep a firm grip on reality and all things rational.  While I tried my best to hang on, Steve started telling us about his plan and the purpose behind his mysterious appearance in my room.  His presentation went something like this:

“I am in charge of hospital security and in an effort to prevent newborns from being taken from our hospital, we conduct a drill twice a year to determine what improvements we need to make in our security procedures.  We would like your family to participate in this drill.  In doing so, your husband and I will try to sneak the baby out of the Labor and Delivery unit and see if we can get past the staff as well as the state of the art security systems we have in place to prevent something like this from happening.”

This is where everything started to get blurry.  I remember thinking, while he presented his plan, of a super polite way that I was going to tell Steve that there was no freaking way he would use my baby for this drill.  Yes, it was important, but NO WAY!  I didn’t want to pretend to have my baby get stolen and I did not want to actively try to trick the nurses that had been so good to us. 

Before I could voice my objection to the plan, Steve and Kyle were going over the details of executing the abduction.  Since Kyle was ok with it, I knew it must be alright, so we started moving forward with the plan.  After all, I was all for making sure newborn hospital security was above par.  Unbeknownst to me, my craziness hormones were spinning into action and my grip on reality was about to be completely lost.

In order to keep my head on straight, I asked Steve what I needed to do.  I understood that he would be helping Kyle steal the baby and get out of the labor and delivery unit, but wasn’t sure what all I needed to do.  He explained that I just needed to lie to the nurses and pretend like I didn’t know where Emily was.  I REALLY did not like that part of the plan.  The nurses had been so wonderful to us and now I was supposed to help facilitate a drill that if successful would confirm that they were not doing their job.  Awesome.  The room was spinning at this point and my breaking point was near. 

Nausea washed over me as I listened to Steve and Kyle discuss the kidnapping route and I felt a pit start to form in my stomach. Kyle was supposed to hold Emily in one arm, like a football and walk out of our room.  That is where the staff should stop him.  Even though he was wearing the “I’m the dad and this is my baby” arm band, newborns are only allowed to be in the hallway if they are in the hospital issued bassinet.  My room was right in front of the nurses station, so the odds of someone not seeing and stopping him were definitely not in favor of the abduction plan. 

If Kyle made it past the nurses station, he was supposed to try to make it through the locking security doors leading out of the unit.  The doors are equipped with a sensor that triggers an alarm and locks the door if a newborn, wearing one of the “I’m a new baby” security bands gets anywhere near it.  To help Kyle make it past this obstacle, Steve was going to go in front of Kyle and open the door before Emily’s band triggered the locking mechanism. 

Then, if Kyle somehow made it this far, he was supposed to go down the hallway and into the waiting room, where Steve would meet up with him and officially end the drill.

I felt a little better after hearing all of this because I was sure they’d never make it past the nurse’s station. 

Before I knew it, it was go time and Kyle and 007 started the exercise.  For a brief moment, I had the horrifying thought that Steve was actually an imposter and not really the head of hospital security and was in fact trying to steal our baby.  I knew it was unlikely, but there was enough of a chance that when Katelyn and Brooke who’d been pretty oblivious during the planning process asked me what was happening to Emily, I burst into tears.  All I knew was that she was gone and for all I knew, Steve was kidnapping Emily AND Kyle. 

So just as I started bawling, the hospital alarms started blaring and Katelyn (age 7) and Brooke (age 3) were likewise coming unhinged.  All they knew was that their new baby sister and dad just left with a big scary guy, their mom was crying and the hospital’s alarm system was wailing in the background.  Those were enough data points to freak them out sufficiently. 

Just then, one of my sweet nurses came flying into my room and asked with a look of shear panic on her face where Emily was.  I of course started crying even harder.  I tried my best to tell her the truth about what was happening and that I didn’t want to get them in trouble, but I highly doubt she understood anything that came out of my blubbering mouth.  She immediately flew out of my room because this was an Amber Alert, whether it be a drill or not, she sprung into action.  So even now, when I am not in a crazy irrational post-partum state, my eyes well up with tears as I type those words.  Amber Alert.  It was a drill, that I was in on, but man oh man it felt way too real and seeing her kind face look that worried, broke my heart. 

Everything from that point on was a blur for me right up until Steve, Kyle and Emily were back in my room, along with a very angry mob of nurses.  The thing I remember most was Steve having to call 911 dispatch to cancel the Amber alert from my room and with my verification that she was back and safe.  Eventually the alarms and commotion stopped and Kyle got to tell me about his part of the adventure. 

Kyle said that he thought he wouldn’t make it more than a step or two outside my door.  Every other time he walked out into the hallway, at least two nurses, if not more, would look up and smile or say hello.  This time however, he walked out and everyone turned or looked away at the exact wrong second.  Two nurses headed into patient rooms and the other nurse was looking the opposite direction and focused on something else.  So Kyle, with Emily in his arms, proceeded down the hall with Steve leading the way.  They made it to the exit door and the alarm started to sound.  Emily’s bracelet triggered it sooner that Steve expected, so the doors locked.  At that point, Kyle thought for sure that the jig was up since the nurse’s station was only 30 feet away.  But Steve had a back-up plan.  He directed Kyle around a corner and had him back up until the doors unlocked and Kyle waltzed right through.  Steve then led him down the hall and into the waiting room.  As soon as Kyle and Emily were inside, Steve pulled the doors closed and locked him inside.  The funny thing was, Kyle was not alone.  Inside the room, which wreaked of smoke, Kyle found himself with three other hospital visitors.  They were intently watching a NASCAR race and their appearance did not do the negative stereotype of NASCAR fans any favors.  One of them was quite large too and Kyle said that for a moment he was worried they were going to jump him, since the baby tucked under his arm was clearly the reason for the alarms blaring throughout the hospital.  Instead, they just looked at him and then went back to watching their race.  Steve appeared a few minutes later to escort Kyle and Emily back to our room.  Even though he radioed in that the drill was over and the alarms could be turned off, Kyle actually had to take Emily further down the hall, away from the Labor and Delivery unit in order to get the doors to unlock and let them back inside.  It seemed that Emily’s security bracelet activated the locks from both directions.  Fail.

As they made their way down the hall, Steve found himself the recipient of a barrage of verbal attacks from the nurses.  They were upset about the drill because they thought that using an actual newborn who belonged to a teary post-partum mom was INSANE.  They chewed him up one side and down the other.

Steve, Kyle and Emily eventually arrived back in our room and with my confirmation, they formally cancelled the Amber Alert, the drill was over.

Next, Steve’s boss showed up to make sure we were ok and thank us for participating.  Through tears, I told her that I really was glad we could help, because I agree that making the Labor and Delivery unit secure is soooooo important.  I assured her that I wasn’t upset but just an emotional wreck in general.  I also told her that I was REALLY worried that the success of our drill was going to negatively impact the amazing nursing staff that had taken such wonderful care of us.  I loved those ladies and felt like I’d just thrown them under the bus.  To this day, we are still shocked that the drill was a success and that they got Emily out of the unit despite the watchful and attentive care the staff provided.

About a  year ago, I met and became friends with a lady that happens to be a nurse at that hospital.  I told her how much I love the staff there and what wonderful experiences we’d had with Brooke and Emily’s births.  I mentioned to her that Emily was one of their “Amber Alert Drill Babies” and she gasped!  It just so happened that she started working there right around that time and she’d actually heard firsthand about how the success of that particular drill had caused such an uproar from the entire staff.  She told me that they now use a fake baby.  I am still not sure what the solution is to make the drill be effective and not stir up such raw emotions with moms and staff members that definitely aren’t in a frame of mind to have their emotions stirred like that, but in the meantime I am glad that a Cabbage Patch Kid can play the part.